Archive for February, 2012

I accept you.

This does not mean that I necessarily love you, like you, want to engage in conversation with you, desire to meet you, will listen to you, agree with you, will fight for you, or want your company. I accept you for who you are. I will take your self-definition as you relate it for the truth. When that changes, as it does for everyone to varying degrees over their lives, I will still accept you.

That does not mean that I will not judge or even pre-judge you based on how you live, or that I will not scrutinise your self-definitions, or wonder why you have made the choices you have, nor does it mean that I will share your opinions, join your cause, or advocate for you. Accepting you does not exempt me from pitting my skills and energies against your chosen causes. I simply accept you.

What “acceptance” means to me is that I perceive a common humanity between us, and that I desire for you that which I desire for myself. For us, I desire: respect for our liberty and freedom, fairness and courtesy in all transactions, the ability to eat safe foods and drink clean water and enjoy adequate housing, the conditions to feel safe alone and in groups and crowds and throngs, the free pursuance of personal beliefs and independent thought, the right to be healthy, to be free to express ourselves honestly, freedom to defend ourselves and others, freedom to love consensually, to be able to live authentically, and mutual acceptance.

Acceptance is not tolerance. I tolerate those beliefs you express and deeds that you display which are in opposition to my own, so long as they do no harm to me or mine. I tolerate a certain amount of discomfort or annoyance you may cause. I tolerate such impositions because of my acceptance of you; however, whereas my acceptance is unconditional and unwavering, my tolerance is provisional and often of short duration.

How great of me to be so magnanimous? How egotistical for me to relate it? Yep, but I’m being honest. Mere tolerance for people is not good enough; we must accept their humanity to be human. We must seek our commonalities as a basis from which to found relationships as allies or adversaries. Anything less dooms our endeavours to failure. So, fighting for tolerance is not a lofty personal goal, it is not enough to be tolerated, we must be accepted as being as wonderfully fallible as everyone else and save tolerance for our words, actions, and associations.


WalMart. Fuck WalMart. Fuck up WalMart.

A friend posted a little link on Facebook to a movement to ask WalMart to not sell GMO sweetcorn products. That got me thinking of another angle to this problem (and if you don’t think that GMO foodstuffs are dangerous, google the word “Monsanto,” my spellcheck even automatically capitalises the name). Why are we asking them to do anything as if it works?

So, what is it going to take for people to wake up and stop supporting this cultural nemesis’ legitimacy? WalMart no longer even tries to market itself as a place to buy products made in the US as it did 20 years ago. It no longer has really inexpensive products, but they are really cheap. Their products are produced in countries that the majority of their customers cannot find on a map, under poor working conditions by impoverished people, some children, for little pay, only to be stocked and sold by people denied anything resembling a living wage (and forget benefits) in this country.

Are we so inured to the human cost of throwaway consumerism in a globalised economy that we can feel okay when we support them? Do we really need all that cheap plastic shit around our homes, anyway? There was a time when things that were poorly made with cheap materials were looked on with disgust. Quality was sought after, and could be found readily, if at a somewhat higher price ,or investment rather. We were taught to consider and be responsible for the consequences of our actions. I remember something about that; it was still within my short lifetime. So what happened to us, that we would even exalt a company that poisons us with contaminated food, insults us with inferior products, mistreats its employees, and degrades local economies?

It would not be legal or morally right of me to suggest that throngs of people go into their local WalMart on, say, May 1st at 9am EST, load up a cart, basket, or their arms with a bunch of the most expensive junk they can, and walk out the doors en masse. That’s just wrong. It’s theft. It’s really dumb because they have security cameras. Definitely do not do that. You may get arrested, and I am not condoning illegal behaviour despite my chequered past. For entertainment purposes only.

But, hypothetically, if a few thousand people did just that, it would serve as a poetic indictment of how that vile corporation has stolen the livelihoods of thousands of small business owners and employees from one coast to the next and corrupted the values of a nation.

Something you can do legally, is to just stop shopping there. Consider cultivating the power of the word “no” for both your kids and yourself. Educate yourself about from where and whom your possessions come. Look for products that you really need that are durably made, preferably domestically, or are used. Learn to fix things properly or find the right people to repair them (shameless plug omitted) instead of throwing everything away. Be more aware of craftsmanship’s value. Pass things on to others if you have no need of it. Kids’ clothes are a good place to start. Donate or recycle plastic items. Eliminate cheap toys as future gifts from or to your household. You needn’t be rich to appreciate or own items of quality, you simply need to develop your powers of discernment and refined taste.

Hello and welcome to my little blog. This is my first real attempt at writing since my daughter was born, so posts may not be so regular or profound, but then again, they may. So do yourself a favour and RSS this thing or click to follow. That way, you’ll be sure to catch whatever meandering commentary I’ve dreamed to bless the world (you, my lovelies) with.

Speaking of, this is what you can hope to find contained herein: Big Words – but not too many, Opinions that just will not keep to themselves, Spelling Errors (because my fingers have the dementia. Shh! They don’t realise it, yet.), British Style Spellings – though you may categorise them under the preceding item, Commas and more commas because they’re cool, Copious Cursing and/or Swearing because I’m Serbian (among other things) and it’s genetic, Vitriol, Spite, Fury, Suggestions of Righteous Violence, Moonbeams, Birdsong, Fluffy Mushroom Unicorn Mating Rituals, Gushing Sarcasm, and Unapologetic Idealism.

I will probably also speak of my daughter, and how I perceive this world’s impact on her and hers on it. With that will come unsolicited advice on parenting, it’s also unqualified advice, for two negatives make a positive.

A little about me: I am a single mom who is three or four shades of queer, and that’s “queer” as in Bisexual/Intersex/Transgender and “queer” as in just plain odd. I’m working my way out of the poor hole that I leaped into a decade or so back, up into middle class, and out the other side if I can. My work is as an Art Conservatrix and furniture restorer, jobs which bring more satisfaction and pleasure than any career I can imagine. I abhor plastic, Generica, homogenisation, conformity, passive acceptance, wilful ignorance, secrets, and patriarchal values. I love kittens, home-baked bread, weaponry, resistance to tyranny, honesty, equality, Texture, complexity, and freaky movies. Some things I say may put you off, may trigger unpleasant things in your memory, may stir you into a froth, and if we’re lucky may make you chuckle. My coping strategy is to make merry. I was the fat jovial kid, think: Roseanne Barr and Dom DeLuise’s love child who was raised in the alleyways of Chicago by Bill Hicks and Gilda Radner. Can I possibly be that talented and funny? No, but it explains my personality pretty well.

Given the state of things, and the anxieties brought on by legislators, general schmuckatude, religious fundamentalists, and selfish corporations, I have a lot of ground to cover. I’m going to solve all the problems of the world, one at a time. Join me, won’t you, on a trip to the stars and back! By the time we do get back, the Earth will have aged a couple million years, and maybe we’ll be the only humans left. Yippee!

Okay, We’re Live!

So this isn’t going to be a real blog post, just a placeholder.